I'm at this very odd juncture in life wherein nothing is going the way it's supposed to. Thanks to my past couple years of solid character building, I am not blaming myself and I am able to roll with the punches.
I'm trying to understand why I am where I'm at. I'm trying to learn what I need to know from this season of life. It's not the most fun thing ever.
I'm learning that life is fragile.
That plans go up in smoke.
That ideas are dangerous.
And that love is worth every minute.
The things I planned on and wanted haven't and won't materialize. I thought I would be more upset about it, but I've learned to rest in the uncertainty. Instead of beating my head against a closed door, I'm looking for the next option. I'm content to wait for it to come to me, as long as I feel I have done due diligence in making myself open to new ideas.
Where is my summer going? I don't know. I don't ride every day any more. I'm no longer a barn manager. My beloved horse is on a vacation that I think he may never come back from.
But I'm a licensed groom at the racetrack. I'm exploring friendships that I let slide before. I'm giving myself permission to step back and see what happens.
It's not what I planned on, not what I expected, certainly not what I wanted. But you know what? It's ok.
No comments:
Post a Comment