Thursday, January 9, 2014

Stuck

I've kept a personal blog since I was 15 or 16 and I always updated it regularly. It started out as fun stories and silly things and morphed into a way to track the life changes I went through and the person I'm becoming.

And here I am.

I haven't posted in a month.

I was glad to watch 2013 end. For all the wonderful things that happened last year, I got my fair share of terrible. I grew, I changed, I learned, I moved on. At least, I tried to.

The problem with moving on is that it's not always easy to walk away. I hung on to a personally devastating job situation for way too long because I wanted it to work and I wanted to be that person. There was carnage. I'm still burned out. My old horse will never be the same again. I've had to spend some serious time working on my relationships with people around me who I care about.

Part of me is so ready for this year. I want to see what comes. I want to live and learn and grow and change.

The other part of me isn't ready to move on. I'm tired and I'm worried and I don't like change.

There is no clean, neat ending.

It's just life. And it's not easy.