Scrambling

So my car is done. Not worth fixing, not worth anything.

And then the brakes went out in my work truck while I was driving.

And that's just the ongoing car drama in my life.

I keep telling myself that I'm lucky. Everyone I love is healthy and well. I have a decent job and I can afford (sort of) to take a little time to figure this out. It's not the end of the world, not even close.

I'm working to develop a plan. I'm figuring out what my options are. I'm putting one foot in front of the other.

So why do I just want to crawl into a hole and hide?

Open Doors

Going in to the water: not a good life choice

I have two dogs. The Corgi (Lewis) is the in-control, self-confident, cocky little guy who makes good decisions and has never met a dog that was bigger than him.

The Beagle (Chaucer) is sweet, but quite insecure and out of his element living in the city.

When we're at home, I sometimes want the dogs inside and sometimes want them outside. Frequently, it doesn't matter and they can do whichever they prefer.

When the weather is good, I just leave the back door open to let the sun and air in.

Lewis likes that. He can monitor the situation inside and outside. He comes in and goes out as it suits his needs.


Chaucer, who is bold and brave when he's doing his job (hunting), is completely befuddled by the "door wide open" problem. Every time he passes the door, whether he is inside or out, he stops and cries. Why? Because every time he sees it, he's forced to make a decision. Does he enjoy the sun outside? Does he go in and have a nap? What does his owner want? What does his corgi brother think? Is he missing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity?

He just can't wrap his mind around the fact that an open door is just that. He can go through it. He can not. In the grand scheme of things, I love him either way and it doesn't matter.

As CS Lewis the author says, "You will serve God whether you want to or not. It matters to you whether you do it like Judas or like John."